All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
My wife said, "You act like a detective too much, I want to split up."
"Good idea!" I replied. "We can cover more ground that way!"
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
What does a gardener call the tree surgeon who also makes a great cup of coffee?
Arbor-ista.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
What do you call a perfume that missed its deadline?
Eau de too late.
Ireland is a little lamb-boyant.
Grammar has never been my strong suit.
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
Why shouldn't you iron a four-leaf clover?
You don't want to press your luck!
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
Once we had a cooking exam. After I finished, teacher said, that it was well done
But I made Medium Rare.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
5 years ago today I asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend, and the most beautiful woman in the world to marry me.
All three said No!
Why did the magician have to cancel his show? Because he just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
Pad kid poured curd pulled cold.
You know what really bugs me?
Insect puns.
I think you’re incredi-bowl.
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet.
Space X has really taken off this past year.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
Did you know that the soldiers at Arlington salute their new Jack-o-Lanterns every Halloween?
They always honor the changing of the Gourd.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
The xylobone.
Go to BabaMail
