What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
I love my furniture... Me and my recliner go way back.
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
I slept with a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
Why didn't the conductor know what to do when he found that his train was missing?
He wasn't trained for this.
What did the salt say when the phosphate asked to bond with it?
"NaCl ater."
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
What did one sushi roll say to the other sushi roll?
I’m soy into you.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.
What has 34 legs, 9 heads and 2 arms? Santa Claus and his reindeer.
Was talking to a record producer at the urinals the other day...
Next thing you know I had a number one on my hands.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
Son: does Easter Bunny set out 12 eggs in the field to search for?
Dad: no he dozen’t.
When one of them have a birthday, turtles call for a shell-ebration.
Why do people in Greece not wake up until noon?
Because Dawn is tough on greece.
Our farm is haunted by chickens. You could say that we have a poultry-geist problem.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
Swimming pools are just chlorified bathtubs...
England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I bought an underwater craft in a bright green color.
It's sublime!
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
I saw a squirrel running in circles in my yard today…
I think it lost its nuts.
The pint’s the limit.
Sometimes you have to green and bear it.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
It replied, “No, thanks, I am traveling light.”
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
Q. Where do red, orange, yellow, green, blue and violet crayons like to go hiking?
A. Colorado.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
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