What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? A; Because he heard the cakes were rich.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti...
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
The soup chef changed the design of his menu. He said his new favorite font is Times New Ramen.
What is the fastest way to make a setter angry? Each time you make a pass, tell the setter the ball is “Up” and then say “Yours!”
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
Wife was in the hospital and the nurse said she was calling the doctor to put in an IV
When he showed up, I said to him "I thought there'd be four of you".
How can you tell a train just went by? A. You can see it’s tracks!
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
What will you do when you will see a spaceman? You will simply park your car, man!
The color turquoise was judged as the best new color because it was cyantifically proven to be.
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.
When I said "God, Thank you for this delicious noodle soup", my dad said "Ramen".
Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.
I think that's bananas!
What do you call a small mother in the UK?
Minimum
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
Why don't you want to sleep in the sheep pen?
It would be total bedlam!!
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for icecream!
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
I passed my dentistry tests with an A in my written paper.
In Oral, B.
Why couldn’t the Italian man get into his house?
He had gnocchi.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Santa's beard is so long because he's bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?
Have you heard about the banker who drowned in a river? It was a river of cash.
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
He’s my pinch charming.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A Payday
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
What does a gladiator say when leaving after an intimate embrace with a woman?
Gladiator out
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
I do wonder why my flamingo friends always do so well in tests and exams. After all, they always just wing it.
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