My doctor told me that I needed I kidney
I told her no. I'd prefer an adult-knee.
Me: I have an appointment to see the doctor.
Nurse: which doctor?
Me: No, just the regular one
What is a doctor's favorite element?
Healium.
Doctor: Your brain seems to have deleted all info about 80s music!
Man: Yikes! What’s The Cure?
Doctor: Darn, it’s worse than I thought.
Did you know that doctors that perform circumscisions don’t make a lot of money for those operations?
They only get paid in tips.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t PEELING well.
What do you call Vietnamese animal doctors?
Vietnam Vets.
Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
Doctor: Pull yourself together
The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
The surgeon was fired later that day.
Earlier, I tried to sneak into the Star Trek convention disguised as the starship's doctor.
Security soon discoverd, however, I wasn't the real McCoy.
“While I was in the doctor’s waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. I suppose he just had to be a little patient.”
What kind of doctor is always available?
An on-call-ogist.
I went to see my Doctor this morning and told him "The tablets you gave me to stop me shrinking aren't working".
He said, “You'll just have to be a little patient then”.
Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk past the pill cupboard quietly?
So she wouldn’t wake the sleeping pills.
Doctor, I keep peeing my pants! What can I do?
Urologist: “It’s mind over matter, urine control.”
I dated a doctor once. Big mistake.
She was a Psycho.
A small child was brought into hospital the other day after swallowing several small toy horses.
The doctors report that he is in a stable condition.
What do doctors use to diagnose chickens?
Eggsray.
He used to be a doctor but he lost his patience.
Her name is Carly and she's a doctor
maybe I should C A Rly good doctor.