Earlier, I tried to sneak into the Star Trek convention disguised as the starship's doctor.
Security soon discoverd, however, I wasn't the real McCoy.
What kind of doctor is always available?
An on-call-ogist.
“While I was in the doctor’s waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. I suppose he just had to be a little patient.”
What did the frustrated doctor say to the nurse?
Gauze dammit!
"Doctor Doctor I feel like a supermarket"
How long have you been feeling like this?
"Since I was Lidl."
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor!
Who is the second coolest man in hospital?
The hip replacement guy!
Doctor, I keep peeing my pants! What can I do?
Urologist: “It’s mind over matter, urine control.”
Why was the doctor so paranoid?
He worked in the ICU.
The doctor told me I shouldn’t eat alphabet soup.
I suffer from irritable vowel syndrome.
What do you call Vietnamese animal doctors?
Vietnam Vets.
Doctor: Your brain seems to have deleted all info about 80s music!
Man: Yikes! What’s The Cure?
Doctor: Darn, it’s worse than I thought.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t PEELING well.
I dated a doctor once. Big mistake.
She was a Psycho.
A small child was brought into hospital the other day after swallowing several small toy horses.
The doctors report that he is in a stable condition.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic.
She got a divorce the next day.
My doctor didn’t show up to the appointment about my hairline.
He said it got pushed back
Why did the house go to the doctor?
It was having window panes.
Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
Doctor: Pull yourself together
Ya know, I was supposed to be a doctor.
But I just didn’t have the patience.
Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards"
Me: "And?"
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