Doctor 1: what’s his body temperature?
Doctor 2: it’s 90 degrees.
Doctor 1: What?! That’s can’t be right!
Doctor 2: No, it is.
Why did the house go to the doctor?
It was having window panes.
“While I was in the doctor’s waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. I suppose he just had to be a little patient.”
My doctor told me that his job is easy because he can heal all of his patients with trigonometry.
He has a sinecure.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t PEELING well.
I went to see my Doctor this morning and told him "The tablets you gave me to stop me shrinking aren't working".
He said, “You'll just have to be a little patient then”.
What did the frustrated doctor say to the nurse?
Gauze dammit!
Man: "I’ve had really bad gas lately." Doctor: D"on’t worry, it will pass."
Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway.
What do you call Vietnamese animal doctors?
Vietnam Vets.
He used to be a doctor but he lost his patience.
My doctor told me that I needed I kidney
I told her no. I'd prefer an adult-knee.
Doctor: Are you aware of your sodium intake?
Me: Na.
Doctor, I keep peeing my pants! What can I do?
Urologist: “It’s mind over matter, urine control.”
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor!
Who is the second coolest man in hospital?
The hip replacement guy!
Ya know, I was supposed to be a doctor.
But I just didn’t have the patience.
Me: I have an appointment to see the doctor.
Nurse: which doctor?
Me: No, just the regular one
The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
The surgeon was fired later that day.
Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
Doctor: Pull yourself together
Did you know that doctors that perform circumscisions don’t make a lot of money for those operations?
They only get paid in tips.
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