Car puns are really tiring
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
What’s the hardest part about working as a bus driver? Everyone’s talking behind your back.
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
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