I hope the only things that blow are candles and balloons. Have a great birthday!
More candles means a bigger wish!
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
For my birthday, my kids got me an alarm clock that swears at you instead of beeping.
That was quite a rude awakening.
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
For my birthday, my kids got me an alarm clock that swears at you instead of beeping.
That was quite a rude awakening.
For my birthday, my friends gave me a bunch of dirt and sand.
I appreciated the sediment.
You know you are getting older when the candles don’t fit on the cake.
Behind every great parent is a great kid. Happy birthday!
I gifted my girlfriend a star for her birthday
I think its perfect, she said she needed some space.
Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.
You feta have a gouda birthday.
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
My wife isn't talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday....
I don't know how I did that... I didn't even know it was her birthday!
I don't get why a kid in my son's Pre-K class gave everyone an inflatable sword as a party favor for their birthday.
It's pointless.
For my wife's birthday, I bought her some beads for her abacus
It's the little things that count.
Congrats on proving that getting older doesn’t mean getting wiser.
My dad got me a clone of myself for my birthday...
He said “Here, it’s faux you!”
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
AYE, MATEY!
You’re not 50 years old, you are 20 years old with 30 years of experience!
Nobody showed up to my 16th birthday party,
I congratulated him on his win against Polyphemus and we started the party.
My daughter want's the new iPhone for her birthday. I told her she will get one as long as she has good grades, does her chores, and follows the house rules. Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone, because.
It's my way or the Huawei.
I just bought my friend a mini fridge for his birthday
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
You are one candle closer to starting a house fire.
Being related to me is the best birthday gift you could receive.
Happy birthday to someone old enough to go vintage shopping in their own closet.
How do pickles celebrate their birthdays? They relish them.
I gifted my girlfriend a star for her birthday
I think its perfect, she said she needed some space.
What type of music is scary for birthday balloons? Pop music!
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
Why do pieces of popcorn always have great birthdays? Because they’re always popping!
You are aged to perfection.
Hey shawty, it’s sherbert day.
What is every horses birthday wish?
A stable economy.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age!
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about
the present, I didn’t get you one.
I’m a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me legos for my birthday.
I don’t know what to make of it.
I don't get why a kid in my son's Pre-K class gave everyone an inflatable sword as a party favor for their birthday.
It's pointless.
People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.
Wedding cake tastes just like Birthday cake
It just takes more commitment.
The girls next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday.
But I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
For the record, you’re not old, you’re a classic.
Remember the one about people queuing up for drinks at Old Faithful's birthday party?
You're not missing much; the punch line blows.
This whole birthday thing is getting old, don’t you think?
The only thing I got for my wife on her birthday was a big helium balloon.
It didn’t go down very well.
The only thing I got for my wife on her birthday was a big helium balloon.
It didn’t go down very well.
I know birthdays get worse as you get older. But look at the bright side — not too many left now.
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
My wife isn't talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday....
I don't know how I did that... I didn't even know it was her birthday!
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