My dad got me a clone of myself for my birthday...
He said “Here, it’s faux you!”
I just bought my friend a mini fridge for his birthday
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
I know birthdays get worse as you get older. But look at the bright side — not too many left now.
I’m a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me legos for my birthday.
I don’t know what to make of it.
Being related to me is the best birthday gift you could receive.
I gifted my girlfriend a star for her birthday
I think its perfect, she said she needed some space.
Behind every great parent is a great kid. Happy birthday!
Remember the one about people queuing up for drinks at Old Faithful's birthday party?
You're not missing much; the punch line blows.
More candles means a bigger wish!
For my birthday, my kids got me an alarm clock that swears at you instead of beeping.
That was quite a rude awakening.
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
Got a universal remote for my Birthday.
Well, this changes everything.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
The only thing I got for my wife on her birthday was a big helium balloon.
It didn’t go down very well.
People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.
I keep telling my wife I want a Segway for my birthday.
But every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.
How do pickles celebrate their birthdays? They relish them.
Be careful, too many birthdays can kill you!
What goes up but never comes down? Your age!
You feta have a gouda birthday.
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
Happy birthday to someone old enough to go vintage shopping in their own closet.
Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.
What is every horses birthday wish?
A stable economy.
For my wife's birthday, I bought her some beads for her abacus
It's the little things that count.
Why do pieces of popcorn always have great birthdays? Because they’re always popping!
I don't get why a kid in my son's Pre-K class gave everyone an inflatable sword as a party favor for their birthday.
It's pointless.
Hey shawty, it’s sherbert day.
Wedding cake tastes just like Birthday cake
It just takes more commitment.
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
Got a universal remote for my Birthday.
Well, this changes everything.
For my girlfriend's birthday I got her a dwarfish clown who told jokes...
It wasn't a great gift, but she appreciated the jester.
My wife isn't talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday....
I don't know how I did that... I didn't even know it was her birthday!
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
What did the Teddy Bear say after blowing out his birthday candles? No cake for me…I’m stuffed
For my birthday, my friends gave me a bunch of dirt and sand.
I appreciated the sediment.
You are aged to perfection.
For the record, you’re not old, you’re a classic.
Congrats on proving that getting older doesn’t mean getting wiser.
This whole birthday thing is getting old, don’t you think?
Yo momma so fat...
She can't even fit into her Birthday Suit.
The girls next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday.
But I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
I don't get why a kid in my son's Pre-K class gave everyone an inflatable sword as a party favor for their birthday.
It's pointless.
Looking 50 is great! If you’re 60.
They say everything gets better with age.
Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about
the present, I didn’t get you one.
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
What did the boy without hands get for his birthday?
Nobody knows, he hasn't got the package open yet.
You know you are getting older when the candles don’t fit on the cake.
Birthday candles don’t exercise because they burn out too quickly!
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