What makes politicians and planets similar?
They both take up space.
Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry?
He apollo-gises.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
Why does Moon goes to the bank? To change his quarters.
Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.
The view was NOT worth the trip.
What is the angriest place on Earth?
Ire-land
Mooning is very ASStrological
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, “Why does earth fall down like that?”
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
What do you call a person really crazy about the moon
A lunatic.
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
Scientists have found that the center of Jupiter… has the letter i.
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.
How do planets staying busy during hunting season?
By shooting stars.
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
Where do Astronauts go to the bathroom?
Where no one has gone before.
What will you do when you will see a spaceman? You will simply park your car, man!
What time do spacemen get up? Alien in the morning.
Why doesn’t the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees!
Have you heard about the chef on space station? He’s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
The earth's rotation really makes my day.
How do you organise a welcome party for an alien race?
You planet.
Why did the cow go right up to the spaceship? To see the Mooooooooooon.
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet.
Space X has really taken off this past year.
Those who study the moon for their course or as a habit, are optimists. And that is because they look at the brighter side always.
What type of songs do planets sing?
Nep-Tunes.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
It is difficult to hold up a trouser. How does Jupiter does it? Simply, with an asteroid belt.
Cassini spacecraft took pictures of both Saturn and Earth. It was literally the best of both worlds.
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.
Why does the earth appreciate the moon so much?
It keeps the oceans tidy.
Why is the taste of moon rock better than that of Earth rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
My daughter asked me, "Why are the two planets coming close together?"
"Well, you see... When two planets love each other they can come together in holy astro nomy."
Have you heard about the latest restaurant that opened up on moon?
No, how is that restaurant?
Where do astronauts go for lunch?
Apollo Loco.
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
I would have gone to space, but the cost is astronomical!
Why don't aliens get hungry after being blasted into space?
Because they've just had a big launch.
The sun is mad at the clouds because the clouds keep throwing shade.
Why did the Sun never got into college? Because it already has quite a million degrees!
Becoming a space pilot is not easy. It requires a good altitude.
What do aliens prefer to drink?
Gravi-tea.
Why wouldn’t the Moon come to the Sun’s funeral?
It isn’t a mourning person
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
When a planet dies, does it get an orbituary?
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why these days, the Moon is up till so late? Don’t worry, it is just going through a phase.
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