Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.