Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff