When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
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