The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you'd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!