What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
Vegetarians in the sixth century were called peasants.
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
Napoleon may not have designed the coat he wore, but he did have a hand in it.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
I'm pretty sure all history teachers are necromancers
They only care about the dead.
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights.
One of the historical figures to play music with has got to be the talented Mr. Ben-jam-in Franklin.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
History. History. Did I just rewrite history?
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
When Lincoln had asked Republican Senator John if he would aid him in capturing Atlanta, he replied, "Sher-man!"
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
The second one.
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM