King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.