Why is it a bad idea to pick a fight with a real estate agent?
They can flip houses whenever they want!
How did the realtor compliment his wife?
He said, “Real estate values will go up and down, but you will remain beautiful forever.”
What’s a real estate agent’s favorite song?
“For Lease Navidad.”
My realtor promised to give me a free abacus if he could close the deal.
I’m unsure whether to count on it or not.
Do truckers prefer houses with long-haul ways?
Why did the realtor open a bakery shop?
Because he was dealing in dough!
You just can’t trust real estate developers.
They’re always busy with plots and schemes.
Why is it so tough to become a real estate attorney?
You always have to deal with battles of wills.
Why do people take an instant dislike to real estate agents?
To save time.
What do you call a real estate agent who secretly moonlights as a detective?
Sherlock Homes.
Why did an agent decide to hide his realtor license?
Because he wanted to be a secret agent.
My realtor sold me a two-story house.
One story before the offer, another story after the offer.
Never bet on real estate. The house always wins.
Why did the house make an appointment with the doctor?
It had a window-pane.
Why was the realtor in counseling?
He couldn’t get closure.
Why do realtors not buy houses near stables?
Because they will always be worried about their next-door neigh-bors!
Why will you never see a realtor reading books?
Because books only have page numbers!
What did the realtor reply when I asked if he liked reading real estate magazines?
"Yes, I love reading them but only periodically".
What do real estate agents have to be thankful for this year?
Lots.
What did the real estate agent do when her buyer was on a budget?
She asked the listing agent what would be the condominimum offer the owner would take.
There are three things verbose realtors find most important:
Loquacion. Loquacion. Loquacion.
What’s the worst thing about broken elevator puns? They’re not very uplifting.
What does a real estate agent from Seychelles specialized in beachfront properties do?
She sells Seychelles by the seashore.
How can you tell if a real estate agent is British?
They’re all about proper tea.
Did you hear about the final remaining unit in the apartment building?
It was last but not leased.
Did you hear the joke about the roof? I doubt you’d get it. It’s over your head.
What did the real estate agent say to the lady at the bar?
"Ma'am, is your name FHA loan? Because you have most certainly caught my interest."
Why do realtors love skateboards?
Because they can flip them whenever they want!
My wife and I went to see a realtor.
“Have you guys considered moving houses?” he asked.
I said, “No, we don’t like caravans.”
How does a dual agent sleep?
Well, first he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
What is the only similarity between a UFO and an affordable agent?
You usually hear about both but can never ever see one!
What’s that feeling you get every month when the mortgage is due?
Homesick.
Why did the mortgage broker always eat lunch by himself?
He was a loaner.
Why was the realtor upset with his truck driver client one day?
The client wanted a house with really long haul ways.
The man who invented the door knocker won a no-bell prize.
What is the lightest house a real estate seller sells?
A lighthouse, of course!
I got worried about climate change when realtors in Iowa started advertising their listings as “potential waterfront property.”
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