I was a bit worried about making breakfast on Halloween
But I ain't afraid of no toast.
What's the best part about the end of Halloween?
Putting the skeletons back in the closet!
My Haloween costume would have been perfect if my hair agreed with me. Guess I’m just having a bad scare day.
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
Ghosts make the best cheerleaders. They have lots of spirit!
Why was the Jack-o-Lantern sad on Halloween?
Because he felt empty inside.
What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-Pie!
I didn’t want to play it safe with a skeleton costume, I want people to know I have guts.
How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?
You use a pumpkin patch.
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music!
My aunt showed up to our Halloween party wearing ranch bottle costume. She was an hour late.
Her response: Sorry, I was getting dressed.
I told everyone that I’m going as a zombie character from Harry Potter this Halloween, but no one believes me.
I’m dead Sirius.
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
Enjoy goblin up all your Halloween candy — just don't let it go to waist!
Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Did you get to meet the tallest vampire in the world? People call him Count Everest.
Jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door