What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
Halloween candy is yummy and all, but don't forget to save room for 'I scream.'
On Halloween, I will be wearing a normal everyday T-Shirt
I'll be going as a Casualty
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
The best part of astrology is reading your daily horror-scope.
I didn’t want to play it safe with a skeleton costume, I want people to know I have guts.
Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are dying to get in!
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
This Halloween I was planning to go as a band aid, but decided against it.
It’s really hard to pull off.
Jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
“I found this humerus” is the perfect Halloween pun for boneheads.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
Halloween Math
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o'-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
What do you say when you're having dinner with a skeleton? Bone appetit!
We’ve all heard of the mushroom who gets invited to the party cause he’s a fungi, but what about the mushroom who stole all the halloween candy?
He had no morrels.
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
I'm going to need to exorcise a lot after all this Halloween candy.
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow dog."
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.
Are any of the Halloween Monsters good at math?
Only if you Count Dracula.