My aunt showed up to our Halloween party wearing ranch bottle costume. She was an hour late.
Her response: Sorry, I was getting dressed.
Jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
My dad has been making Halloween related puns all morning
He's now asking that I call him the Halloween Pun King.
I told everyone that I’m going as a zombie character from Harry Potter this Halloween, but no one believes me.
I’m dead Sirius.
Halloween Math
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o'-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
Halloween candy is yummy and all, but don't forget to save room for 'I scream.'
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
What's the best part about the end of Halloween?
Putting the skeletons back in the closet!
I don't trust pumpkins. They're seedy.
I said to my son, "There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me."
He asked, "Which is?"
I replied, "Exactly!"
We’ve all heard of the mushroom who gets invited to the party cause he’s a fungi, but what about the mushroom who stole all the halloween candy?
He had no morrels.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
What do you say when you're having dinner with a skeleton? Bone appetit!
This Halloween I was planning to go as a band aid, but decided against it.
It’s really hard to pull off.
What does a placebo say on Halloween?
“Trick or Treatment!”
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
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