The record store owner needed to get the albums by a Canadian band with Neil Pert on drums out on sale before Halloween...
So he put in a Rush order!
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin. I told him I'd gourd it with my life!
I dressed up as a jousting lance for Halloween, but nobody got it.
I thought it was pretty straight forward.
This Halloween I was planning to go as a band aid, but decided against it.
It’s really hard to pull off.
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
Went to church on Halloween
Turned out to be a blessing in disguise
For Halloween I'm going to dress as a donkey with a kilt
I'm going to be an ascot
Don’t be a jerk-o-lantern this Halloween — share your candy!
What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music!
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-Pie!
What do you say when you're having dinner with a skeleton? Bone appetit!
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
What is a jack o lantern's favorite pick up line?
"Darling, you look GOURD-EOUS!!"
I need a new Halloween costume. I’m thinking of going as an evil nun.
Do I really need another bad habit?
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
What's the best part about the end of Halloween?
Putting the skeletons back in the closet!
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