What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
What happens when you go to the beach in hell?
You get a SaTan.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
The abdominal snowman is just a snowman with a six-pack.
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
What did the Endoplasmic Reticulum say to the Golgi. I like your body, and the Golgi said it's complex.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
Readers do it by the book.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
This is one spray-cation to remember.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor? Dino-sore!
Was arguing with a friend in a restaurant recently when the waiter ran over and took the plate of garlic bread and the coleslaw. I wish he’d stop taking sides.
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
How far can a mango,
If he's got a license but doesn't avocado ?
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives
I replied, no, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.
My friend thought ketchup didn’t exist
So I told him to check his sauces.
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved escape velocity.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
What did the painter say to his wife? "I love you with all my art!"
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
People really liked the new king's coronation day peach. He truly deserves the throne.
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
"Now he's just some bunny that I used to know."
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
I used to have an electric wok but I had to get rid of it
Wouldn’t run.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
Homeless man attacks kid with a knife
Don’t worry the kid was fine. He had a knife.
Can you can a canned can into an un-canned can like a canner can can a canned can into an un-canned can?
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
My father always taught me to be prepared for any emergency. I was on the ball when the streets flooded...
I was ready and wading!
What trophy does a stay-at-home defencemen win? The Snorris!
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