What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Whom did the cheesy Bible start with? Edam and Eve.
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For hispanic attacks.
Is tea with additional salt
Salt-tea?
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
"I have so many egg puns, it's not even bunny."
I just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.
I usually smoke Marlboro but hey... a deal's a deal.
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
Your love is like vodka.
You were worth the chase.
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
What do you call a bullet proof Irishman?
Rick O'Shea.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
Why shouldn't you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
I can't get my wife to try Mediterranean food.
She doesn't like hummus, which is a naan-starter.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
10-tickles.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
I want to open a doctors office with a nail salon inside.
It’ll be called “Many Cures and Manicures”.
I’m positive I just lost an electron.
Better keep an ion that.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
I must say, my wife's cooking has really improved.
That was the best slice of soup I've ever had.
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.
What is a vegan Viking called?
A Norvegan.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
Join us for plenty of play action.
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
Physics puns are no joke. It’s a relatively dark matter.
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
Why is the pickle container always open?
Because it's ajar.
Which noble man loves sitting at a round table?
Sir Cumference
Go to BabaMail
