I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What did the corn say when it was being followed?
“I’m being stalked!”
I told my kids that ketchup can go on anything.
You know, It’s the least condiment denominator.
From my head tomatoes, I love you bunches.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
We are looking pitcher-perfect.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
Sip, sip, horray!
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes?
Because they were too corny!
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
What does Earth get on Earth day ?
A birthday quake !
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
Why can’t the engineer be electrocuted? Because he’s not a conductor!
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
Why an astronaut can be said similar to a football player? They both strive for touchdowns!
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
“What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!”
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
What's a pun's favorite love song?
"My Punny Valentine!"
The satellite went into the orbit, right on January 1st, causing a New Year’s revolution.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse!
How did Michael Jackson revolutionize cooking in space?
Moon Wok!
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
I hate when I have to stop scuba diving
If makes me deep-pressed
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.
Go to BabaMail
