My doctor told me that his job is easy because he can heal all of his patients with trigonometry.
He has a sinecure.
Her name is Carly and she's a doctor
maybe I should C A Rly good doctor.
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor!
Who is the second coolest man in hospital?
The hip replacement guy!
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic.
She got a divorce the next day.
“While I was in the doctor’s waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. I suppose he just had to be a little patient.”
Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway.
Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk past the pill cupboard quietly?
So she wouldn’t wake the sleeping pills.
Doctor 1: what’s his body temperature?
Doctor 2: it’s 90 degrees.
Doctor 1: What?! That’s can’t be right!
Doctor 2: No, it is.
What do you call Vietnamese animal doctors?
Vietnam Vets.
When I woke up from my accident, I was shocked when the doctors told me I broke all my fingers.
It was hard to grasp.
Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
Doctor: Pull yourself together
What did the frustrated doctor say to the nurse?
Gauze dammit!
Did you know that doctors that perform circumscisions don’t make a lot of money for those operations?
They only get paid in tips.
Doctor: Your brain seems to have deleted all info about 80s music!
Man: Yikes! What’s The Cure?
Doctor: Darn, it’s worse than I thought.
Ya know, I was supposed to be a doctor.
But I just didn’t have the patience.
Why was the doctor doing diarrhia research scared?
He had seen some sh*t go down.
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it:
Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Guy: "Whats the bad news?"
Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."
Guy: OMG, and the good news?
Doc: You now have a tic tac toe.
Doctor: Are you aware of your sodium intake?
Me: Na.
2 years ago, the doctor told me I was losing my hearing.
Haven't heard from him since then.
"Doctor Doctor I feel like a supermarket"
How long have you been feeling like this?
"Since I was Lidl."
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