What did the frustrated doctor say to the nurse?
Gauze dammit!
Why was the doctor so paranoid?
He worked in the ICU.
Doctor: Your brain seems to have deleted all info about 80s music!
Man: Yikes! What’s The Cure?
Doctor: Darn, it’s worse than I thought.
Her name is Carly and she's a doctor
maybe I should C A Rly good doctor.
The doctor told me I shouldn’t eat alphabet soup.
I suffer from irritable vowel syndrome.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic.
She got a divorce the next day.
2 years ago, the doctor told me I was losing my hearing.
Haven't heard from him since then.
Once there was a doctor who got shot. He adamantly wanted to perform surgery on himself, despite all of the other surgeons saying that he shouldn't.
But he was so insistent that they finally said "Fine, suture self."
Patient: ‘Doctor, I’ve swallowed a spoon.’
Doctor: ‘Sit down and don’t stir.’
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor.
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Tell him I can't see him right now."
Why was the doctor doing diarrhia research scared?
He had seen some sh*t go down.
What kind of doctor is always available?
An on-call-ogist.
“While I was in the doctor’s waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. I suppose he just had to be a little patient.”
Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway.
I ride share to work regularly, but if I'm in the backseat when we go through a tunnel I have a massive anxiety attack.
My doctor diagnosed me with Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.
Earlier, I tried to sneak into the Star Trek convention disguised as the starship's doctor.
Security soon discoverd, however, I wasn't the real McCoy.
Did you know that doctors that perform circumscisions don’t make a lot of money for those operations?
They only get paid in tips.
"Doctor Doctor I feel like a supermarket"
How long have you been feeling like this?
"Since I was Lidl."
He used to be a doctor but he lost his patience.
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