Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
Doctor: Pull yourself together
A guy walks into the doctors office complaining of rectal pain, upon examination, the doctor exclaims "Buddy, theres a piece of lettuce coming out of your butt!"
The guy looks to the doctor and says "thats only the tip of the iceburg!"
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor!
Who is the second coolest man in hospital?
The hip replacement guy!
What did the frustrated doctor say to the nurse?
Gauze dammit!
Earlier, I tried to sneak into the Star Trek convention disguised as the starship's doctor.
Security soon discoverd, however, I wasn't the real McCoy.
What do you call Vietnamese animal doctors?
Vietnam Vets.
Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway.
The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
The surgeon was fired later that day.
What do doctors use to diagnose chickens?
Eggsray.
Doctor: Your brain seems to have deleted all info about 80s music!
Man: Yikes! What’s The Cure?
Doctor: Darn, it’s worse than I thought.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic.
She got a divorce the next day.
A small child was brought into hospital the other day after swallowing several small toy horses.
The doctors report that he is in a stable condition.
Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards"
Me: "And?"
The doctor told me I shouldn’t eat alphabet soup.
I suffer from irritable vowel syndrome.
What do you call a doctor who became a delivery driver?
MedEx
A man goes to the Doctor with a banana in one ear, a carrot in the other ear and a cucumber up his nose. “What’s wrong with me doc?” He asks.
“It’s easy, you're not eating properly.” the doctors replies.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t PEELING well.
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor.
I dated a doctor once. Big mistake.
She was a Psycho.
Why was the doctor doing diarrhia research scared?
He had seen some sh*t go down.
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