What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
AYE, MATEY!
Be careful, too many birthdays can kill you!
For my girlfriend's birthday I got her a dwarfish clown who told jokes...
It wasn't a great gift, but she appreciated the jester.
You did a grape job raisin me. Happy birthday!
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
What did the boy without hands get for his birthday?
Nobody knows, he hasn't got the package open yet.
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
I keep telling my wife I want a Segway for my birthday.
But every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.
Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about
the present, I didn’t get you one.
You are aged to perfection.
People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.