Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.