What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.