Two kids are camping in their backyard, it's gotten pretty late and neither of them has a watch.
"What time do you think it is?" one of them asks the other.
"Just make a ton of noise," says the other.
The first kid gets confused and decides to do it anyway. After a few seconds of screaming, a light turns on in another yard and a neighbor yells, "YOU CRAZY KIDS IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING!!"
Which lawn decorations move around from yard to yard?
Gnomads.
The neighbor's dog pooped in our yard, so my wife told me to get the shovel and toss it over their fence.
But that didn't solve anything.
Now the neighbors have my shovel and someone still has to pick up the poop in our yard.
I saw a squirrel running in circles in my yard today…
I think it lost its nuts.
I went to my backyard and saw a bird of prey eating avocado toast.
It was a millennial falcon.
During the divorce, the judge couldn't decide who got the shack in the backyard, despite our numerous arguments.
It was a case of he shed, she shed.
My HOA agreement has a statement mandating we have an inflatable Santa displayed in our yard during December.
There is a Santa clause.
I was gonna walk barefoot through the yard.
But that would cause an ecological crisis.
I saw a squirrel bury a nut in my backyard today.
I'm going to swap it for a grilled cheese sandwich and blow his mind.
I’m saving money for bushes to plant around the yard when my career is over...
It’s my retirement hedge fund.
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