How do you make a dog stop barking in the backyard?
Move him to the front yard.
My girlfriend brought 50,000 bees and put them in our backyard.
She's a keeper.
A mother catches her 12-year-old son smoking in the backyard...
"Jimmy, I can't believe this! Smoking is terrible for you, and you're so young!" Jimmy replies, "Don't worry mom, I only smoke when I'm drunk."
My chickens escaped and over my yard...
I wasn't expecting the coop d'etat.
Someone randomly dropped off a bull in my neighbor’s yard, but animal control picked it up before she got home.
She would have had a cow.
How did the police find all the missing wood from the lumber yard?
It was chipped.
Which lawn decorations move around from yard to yard?
Gnomads.
What type of underwear does a yard wear?
Lawngerie.
During the divorce, the judge couldn't decide who got the shack in the backyard, despite our numerous arguments.
It was a case of he shed, she shed.
I was walking by a yard sale the other day.
I saw a radio for $1. The volume dial was broken but I knew I couldn’t turn that down.
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