A chicken goes into a library. He stands at the librarian's desk and says, "Buk," so she gives him a book. A couple of minutes later, the chicken returns. "Buk," he says, and she hands him another book. This goes on and on.
Finally, it is the librarian's break time. She goes out back to get some fresh air by the pond. That is when she sees the chicken and a frog on a lilypad. "Buk," says the chicken as he tosses a book to the frog. "Reddit," replies the frog...
My neighbor planted dogwood trees in his front yard.
I’m not a huge fan of the bark.
The neighbor's dog pooped in our yard, so my wife told me to get the shovel and toss it over their fence.
But that didn't solve anything.
Now the neighbors have my shovel and someone still has to pick up the poop in our yard.
I’m saving money for bushes to plant around the yard when my career is over...
It’s my retirement hedge fund.
Which lawn decorations move around from yard to yard?
Gnomads.
My girlfriend brought 50,000 bees and put them in our backyard.
She's a keeper.
How do you make a dog stop barking in the backyard?
Move him to the front yard.
A mother catches her 12-year-old son smoking in the backyard...
"Jimmy, I can't believe this! Smoking is terrible for you, and you're so young!" Jimmy replies, "Don't worry mom, I only smoke when I'm drunk."
My wife got mad at me for playing catch with my son in the backyard
... I didn’t see the big deal until I dropped him.
Can you explain why your neighbor’s yard is so messy and overgrown?
“We’d never.”
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