I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
I let my kids pick my Halloween costume this year. They chose a hot dog...
... this is going to be my wurst Halloween ever.
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
I went to a Halloween party wearing a pie shell and carrying a shepherds crook.
"What on earth are you supposed to be?" "I'm a spy" "A spy?. What kinda of spy wears a pie costume and carries a crook?"
A shepherds spy.
What did the Turkey do on Halloween?
He was a goblin
My dad has been making Halloween related puns all morning
He's now asking that I call him the Halloween Pun King.
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow dog."
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
For Halloween I’m going to write “Life” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.