I’ve always followed in my father’s footsteps until today.
He turned around and said, “STOP!”
A father was reading a book while his son was playing with toys on the floor. “Daddy, why is that book so thick?” asks the boy.
“It’s long story,” replies the father.
My father was a blind carpenter
until he picked up his hammer and saw.
My father and grandfather work for the DMV.
I come from a long line of long lines.
Son: Father can you tell me what a solar eclipse is? Father: No sun.
Why couldn't the father afford to take his kids to classical music concerts?
Because he was Baroque
How rare is an excellent father?
Legen-daddy
I used Brylcreem this morning to slick back my hair like my father used to do. My wife asked me what I was doing.
I said, "I'm having a dad hair day."
My late father once said
Sorry I’m late.
Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest...
For I have synonymed.
The only reason i want to become a father is to make dad jokes all the time. Some people think I am kidding
But i’m dad serious
On Father's Day, I thanked my dad for his contribution to my birth.
He said it was his pleasure.
I like celebrating Fathers' Day, but I'm not a dad.
I guess I'm just a faux pas.
Serve up some Dad Jokes at your Father's Day BBQ
Make 'em eat Pop-Corn
Kids got me an Old-school Chemistry set for Father's Day...
... Totally in my Element.
What's the problem with Father's day?
It always falls on Son-day
What did the father say to his falling son?
Son, you've got potential.
My father ran his whole roofing business and it was a great success.
He had to stay on top of things though.
I just heard that the government has made an amendment to lockdown to allow Father Christmas out...
It's called the Santa Clause
One day, a father was washing a car with his son...
The son asks, "why can't we just use a sponge?"
I seen my father pouring chicken soup over his compost yesterday
I suppose chicken soup IS good for the soil.
What kind of humor did the Founding Fathers partake in?
Dad jokes
I wanted to buy a $30 meal for my father, my grandfather and father-in-law. I figured they'd lump em all together and charge a reduced fee.
But no, I was charged $30 a pop.
My father had the uncanny ability to know which way the wind blew by feeling his jugular...
`It was his weather vein.
My father is so cheap...
When we go to bed he unplugs the clocks.
My father always taught me to be prepared for any emergency. I was on the ball when the streets flooded...
I was ready and wading!
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