Your good seed for the day.
Trowel and error.
After a year of waiting, my publisher finally approved my book on gardening
It's about Thyme.
I started an insurance company for flower and gardening businesses...
It's called "oopsie daisies."
I beg your garden?
Do you need some encourage-mint?
Why was the gardener so embarrassed? He wet his plants!
What does a gardener call the tree surgeon who also makes a great cup of coffee?
Arbor-ista.
Herb your enthusiasm.
I’m rooting for you!
The farmer had such a bad headache he had to retire. He was sick of his grains.
Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
Did you hear about the squirrel diet? It’s nuts!
What did the pirate call his vegetable patch?
His garrrrgh-den.
What kind of flowers bloom on your face? Tulips!
A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!
What’s the name of the gardener’s favorite show? Lawn and order.
What’s a corn farmer’s favorite animal? The unicorn.
What did the gardeners say when he discovered nasty weeds in his garden?
I have spotted spurge!
Schwarzenegger retired from TV to kill bugs. Now he’s an ex-terminator.
It’s party thyme.
Botanists have developed a vegetable that eliminates the need to brush your teeth.
Bristle sprouts.
God made rainy days, so gardeners could get the housework done.
I asked the staff at my local garden center what to grow in my garden. They gave me some sage advice.
Your good weed for the day.
Scarecrows always garden their patch.
I had a job drilling holes for water. It was well boring.
What kind of socks does a gardener wear?
Garden hose!
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.
I’ll never leaf you.
Long thyme no see.
My local garden center is doing buy one, get one free on manure. Don’t sniff at this offer.
I’ve started to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time. I tell them “it’s next to the sage”.
Who needs friends when you’ve got anemones?
I got a job working in a hayfield. After one day I bailed.