She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
It’s party thyme.
What’s the easiest way to stop a dog from digging in the garden?
Take away his shovel!
Cleaning my cold frame is a pane in the glass.
I had a job drilling holes for water. It was well boring.
Let’s take a leaf of faith.
Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
God made rainy days, so gardeners could get the housework done.
Why did the gardener think her plant was sick?
It was looking very green.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
What’s the name of the gardener’s favorite show? Lawn and order.
If you’re looking for a job, get trained in horticulture. It’s a growing industry.
Winter does not arrive until the ice is in the compost heap. Spring does not arrive until the ice is out of the compost.
One bonsai tree grower was so successful he moved into a miniature house.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled.
What do you call a book on underwater gardening?
A self-kelp book.
Did you hear the gardener's joke about the old oak tree?
It's acorny one!
Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
I’m rooting for you!
I’ve always been afraid of gardening.
But then I decided to grow a pear.
I wasn’t all that interested in gardening, but I planted a few seeds, and it grew on me.
Who needs friends when you’ve got anemones?
Eat, drink and be rosemary.
Why did the gardener need a cork?
Because his garden sprung a leek!
My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
I hired a landscape gardener today.
He couldn’t help me — my garden is a portrait.
That’s a bit mulch.
New Year's resolution for the bankrupt gardener was to forget the past and rely on the fuchsia...
Have you botany plants lately?
Herb your enthusiasm.
Scarecrows always garden their patch.
Any self-respecting rock will break at least one shovel before accepting its new home.
What is the wise gardener's mantra?
Weed 'Em and Reap!
Why do gardeners plant bulbs? So the worms can see where they’re going.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the corn has ears.
I'm a gardener and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I plant all day!
I dress in grubby clothing and hang around with slugs.
Oh I'm happy in the garden
With dirt and plants and bugs.
I beg your garden?
Did you hear about the squirrel diet? It’s nuts!
Ants in your plants.
A man walks into a flower shop "I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help. What exactly have you done?"
I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug-fest.
Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.
What kind of flowers bloom on your face? Tulips!
I started an insurance company for flower and gardening businesses...
It's called "oopsie daisies."
Trowel and error.
What rock would you find inside a garden shed?
Shedimentary.
If a man is alone in the garden and speaks, and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
Why didn’t the flower get to go out on a second date?
He was a garden variety.
All things must grass.
Why is The Hulk such a good gardener? Because he’s got green fingers.