After the Moroccan scored a Hat-trick, the players gathered for the fez-off.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
The classiest indoor tennis facilities serve bubble tea.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
What do you call a group of chess players bragging about how they won in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Putting on contacts without a mirror is hard
You just gotta eyeball it.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
Rudder valve reversals
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
My Asian neighbor owns a T-shirt company where he colors white shirts. I think it's a Thai Dye T-shirt company.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
He is a humble husband. Unlike others, he never blows his crumpet after making breakfast for his wife everyday.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
What did the glass say to the window?
"I'm in pane."
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
What's the difference between a head of lettuce and a unicorn?
One is a funny beast, and the other is a bunny feast!
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
Why did the banana go out with a prune?
Because he couldn't find a date.
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
I got worried about climate change when realtors in Iowa started advertising their listings as “potential waterfront property.”
What do you call it when all your mother's sisters gather at a funeral to avenge your death?
Vigil aunties.
My car keeps telling me my door is ajar. It's not a jar you idiot it's a door.
After his teeth were cleaned, the werewolf ate the dentist.
I’m saving money for bushes to plant around the yard when my career is over...
It’s my retirement hedge fund.
When you meet someone, you don't want to get off to a bad art!
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet?
A brasshole.
What is the only animal smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
People gave the sun a rating.
It was only one star.
What do aliens prefer to drink?
Gravi-tea.
Two flies are playing football on a saucer.
They’re practicing for the cup.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs, of course!
Are you a beaver? ‘Cause dam.