Get clover it, babe.
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
In the eyes of the lawn.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Why did Santa go to a psychiatrist? He no longer believed in himself.
There was once a jolly happy mountain that offered fantastic advice to a grumpy hill. "Change your altitude", he said!
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
The zookeeper was struggling to explain why two tropical birds were stuck together.
It was toucan fusing.
I’m a clover, not a fighter.
That was thaw-some!
Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
Because he heard the cakes were rich.
What type of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound.
Cowboys don’t roll joints.
They tumble weed.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
What does a dinosaur call a porcupine? A toothbrush.
I failed my Calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.
It was hard to differentiate between them.
Why didn't the lemon juice like the soap?
Because he was basic.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Why are Catholics the best runners during the Easter season?
They fast during Lent!
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
Who did Dracula take to the school dance? His ghoul friend.
Which side of a koala bear has the most fur? The outside!
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
My father quietly retired from his job as an eye glass manufacturer yesterday.
He didn’t want to make a spectacle.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
You have me greening from ear to ear.
Why did the tiger visit the eye specialist after dropping a can of red paint on himself? He saw red.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
People who fall sick at the airport possibly end up with terminal illness.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
Are you a lightbulb? Because you turn me on.
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
I need a new Halloween costume. I’m thinking of going as an evil nun.
Do I really need another bad habit?
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.