Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
He came, he thawed, he conquered.
Why was the artist in an argument? She wanted to have the final clay.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
I heard the King of spain caught Covid...
Heard he tested positive while on his plane going somewhere, now he has to quarantine there.
So the Reign in Spain remains solely on the Plane.
What does a house wear?
Address.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
Slightly disappointed that the makers of the shampoo, "Head and Shoulders" have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
What did the woman say when she escaped Dracula’s clutches?
- Better luck necks time!
Why does it take so long for the EU to figure out how much Italy owes them every year?
Hey, ease up. Rome wasn't billed in a day.
What is American football called in other countries?
30.48 cm ball.
It is said that crows and owls are in caw-hoots.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
What do you call two celebrities who get into a gun fight?
One is a shooting star, and the other is a falling star.
How does a bee get to school?
She takes a school buzz
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
I love you a tot!
How does a volleyball team welcome their new neighbors? With a block party.
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
Eddie edited it.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
I bought a boat because it was for sail.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
My gay lover asked me if date night was optional.
I said no, it's a mandate
A man just attacked me with cheese and milk.
How dairy!
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
What does a grape do with his grandchildren?
He is raisin them.
The female janitor at my office asked me if I would like to smoke some weed with her.
I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women.
I don't get why a kid in my son's Pre-K class gave everyone an inflatable sword as a party favor for their birthday.
It's pointless.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
When he was chewing the skeleton, the wolf got to a point and laughed. I guess that was the funny bone.
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
Why did the artist use the bathroom? Because she was consta-painted.
My wife hates my collection of old snake skins.
So I have to keep them in the shed.
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea.
I’m a baseliner and I don’t know how to volley: my game would disappear if I went to no-man’s land.
My biggest problem with having three square meals a day is that all my plates are round.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!