Why did the Meteorologist go to hospital?
He was feeling under the weather.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?
They know really “dirty” jokes.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
I was on the way to the gorcer when I remembered, I need to put toothpaste on the grocery list.
My dad said, "Don't do that! It'll be all messy!"
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Every time when I see a picture of something amazing in space, I usually say “That’s totally far out.”
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.
Why are hot dogs angry? Because they are always getting roasted.
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture, but I'm still putting it together.
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
This summer is going swimmingly.
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
In the clawset!
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What do you call a basketball team that cries after they lose the game?
A bawl club.
What kind of Nurse can cast spells?
A Curse Practitioner.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
Do you comma here often?
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor!
Who is the second coolest man in hospital?
The hip replacement guy!
What do you call a bee trying to make up its mind?
A maybee
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
What can I say? I enjoy going to court.
So sue me.
What kind of light goes around the earth? A Satel-lite.
What does the sun drink out of?
Sunglasses!
Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.
They take their seat and ask the bartender for two draft beers.
The bartender looks at them and says “sorry guys, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
The chocolate couple decided to rent a two bedroom sweet for their summer honeymoon.