Why did the ghost go to the bar? To get some boos.
How do you move a piece of furniture at the weather station?
With four casters.
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
When it comes to board games about buying real estate, Hasbro has a monopoly…
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
I have the final sleigh.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
Which color is the fastest?
Red, because it is always redy.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
Two candies had a beautiful wedding. They were truly mint to be
what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
Irish potatoes are spud-tacular.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Enough of the Corona virus jokes
We're all getting sick of them!
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
Damn, look at that pizza! It's an over panchiever.
What do you call a fruity pop star? Katy Peary.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
Bad spelling makes me sic.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
My mother-in-law dropped her iPhone in the toilet...
I told her, "there's a CRAP for that."
What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men?
IC
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
What do pizza delivery guys and porn stars both see too much of?
Stiff tips.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
I’m elf-taught.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
Several epidemics throughout history have many similarities in characteristics.
For example, many diseases evolved from poor hygiene between animals and humans and a rise in urban population and interregional communication. Many had very similar effects and modes of transmission.
Because of the similarities, many historians are looking into allegations of these diseases stealing each other's methods, committing plague-iarism.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
What do you call a big boat full of fish
A carp ark.
My wife's been on a banana diet.
She hasn't lost any weight, but you should see her climb trees now!
The furniture store saleswoman keeps calling me to come back. But all I wanted was one night stand.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
I can't get my wife to try Mediterranean food.
She doesn't like hummus, which is a naan-starter.