Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
While the blues musician performed his most famous song, balloons of every color were released in the arena. Guess we may get to call it the 'House of Hues'.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
Through three cheese trees three free fleas flew.
While these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew.
Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze.
Freezy trees made these trees' cheese freeze.
That's what made these three free fleas sneeze.
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Dad: "Knock, knock!" Kid: "Who's there?"
Dad: Spell!
Kid: Spell who?
Dad: W... H... O...
Did you hear about the artist that has been drawing very small, colorful noodles?
He drew an itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka dot linguini.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
My dog is sad after eating her favorite fruit and getting wet from the juice.
She's a watered melancholy watermelon collie.
What do you call a 1 cent coin in Italy?
A penne.
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
Black background, brown background, black background, brown background, black background, brown background.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth today
Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.
Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
The second one.
Why did the corn stalks hold a ceremony in honor of the scarecrow?
To corn-gratulate him for being out standing in their field!
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
When the time came, he betrayed our team and showed his blue colors.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery
But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
A fly and flea flew into a flue,
said the fly to the flea 'what shall we do?'
'let us fly' said the flea
said the fly 'shall we flee'
so they flew through a flaw in the flue.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Two monkeys get in a bath. The first one say’s “ooh ooh aah ooh aah”
The second one say’s “well put some cold water in it then”
That was thaw-some!
How does the Easter bunny stay in shape?
Lots of eggs-ercise!
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
What did the structural engineer say to the architect? Nice buttress.
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
What did the frustrated doctor say to the nurse?
Gauze dammit!
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.