She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
"Now he's just some bunny that I used to know."
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
I used to have an electric wok but I had to get rid of it
Wouldn’t run.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
Homeless man attacks kid with a knife
Don’t worry the kid was fine. He had a knife.
Can you can a canned can into an un-canned can like a canner can can a canned can into an un-canned can?
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
My father always taught me to be prepared for any emergency. I was on the ball when the streets flooded...
I was ready and wading!
What trophy does a stay-at-home defencemen win? The Snorris!
“What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!”
The perfume was very cheap.
It's price was in cents.
What's it called when a perfume climbs up the stairs?
Ascent.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
I am cocoa-nuts about you.
My father and grandfather work for the DMV.
I come from a long line of long lines.
Never talk to me about fashion
It just goes in one year and out the other
Everyone teased the snowman for having a pointy nose, but he didn’t carrot all.
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel.
Deodorant is a scent.
What do you call a mosquito sitting on your spouse’s cheek?
A golden opportunity.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What song was the peach listening to? 'Stronger with Peach Tear'.
What do you call getting attacked by a mermaid?
An ariel assault.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.
They take their seat and ask the bartender for two draft beers.
The bartender looks at them and says “sorry guys, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
The green light at the road signal looked at the red light and said, "Don't look while I am changing".
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
I have written a book on Penguins.
In hindsight, paper would have been better.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna1, Anna2
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!