[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
The healthy soup recipe was suggested to us by the nutritionist. It soup-erseded the old unhealthy creamy soup we used to have for dinner.
How will you have communion in the space if you won’t have mass?
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
What’s green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot.
The calm before the score
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
What name does Santa Claus use when he takes a break from delivering gifts? Santa Pause!
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One cowboy sees a tree that’s draped in bacon. “A bacon tree ! We’re saved!” He says. He runs to the tree and is shot up with bullets.
It wasn’t a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.
Putting on makeup and putting on glasses serve the same purpose...
They make the person look better!
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
The sweater I bought recently kept picking up static-electricity, so I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
What is a dairy product like as a partner?
They’re your butter half.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
I was going to buy a new pillow....
but I decided I better sleep on it first
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
The coddled superstar sat in the seats with the fans instead of on the bench
with the team; for this, ironically enough, he was accused of grandstanding!
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and Speak!
How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
I’m soy
into you.
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
A small step for cyan, a giant leap for bluemanity.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
I was cracking some lame fall puns when my friend commented, "Gosh, you are acorny person!"
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.