I thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
What is a grammar vampire's least favourite drink?
Type-O.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Will you, William? Will you, William? Will you, William?
Can't you, don't you, won't you, William?
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth.
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
How many prison guards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just beat the room for being black.
What is the worst type of blind people?
The Notsees.
Be-leaf me, you look great in green.
You do not want to know the history behind the railroad because it is so underground.
When would an apple be not an apple? When it is a pineapple!
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Where do parrots get away on holiday? To the beak!
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
I know someone who tried to run away after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
I scored when I met you.
You are un-beer-lievable!
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
What do planets like to read?
Comet books.
What is a mouse’s favorite game?
Hide and squeak!
What do a mommy bee and a daddy bee make when they have alone time?
A babe-bee.
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
How does Toucan Sam wear a belt?
He puts it through his loops
I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.
How come there are no automatic cars in Spain?
They’re all Manuel.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
How do you make a million dollars in real estate?
You start out with two million.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...
You're an acidic Jew.
A book fell on my head. I can only blame my shelf.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
You octopi my thoughts.
A barber, a hairdresser, and Bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star.
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!