Initially, the passenger couldn't find where his next flight was, but fortunately, he made the connection in time.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
I’m stuck on you like igloo.
How does an ice cream cone congratulate you on the anniversary of your birth?
It’s sherbert day!
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
Prague is my number one choice for a dream destination...
Dying to Czech it out
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
How were these puns about puns?
They were pun-questionably pun-fortunate!
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
Skiing is believing!
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
At what time of day was Adam created?
A little before Eve.
I think you're mer-mazing.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
If you do bowling and for some reason you can’t hear a pin drop, something could be wrong with your bowling.
Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup? Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
A gang of ravens scared off individual crows and cornered them together. Well, you can say that a conspiracy of ravens preplanned a murder of crows.
Those soldiers thought they could blow up that submarine with their bomb...
but they needed to sea mine.
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
My dentist said that my oral hygiene wasn't up to scratch, so she recommended me a new toothpaste.
Now all I need is a toothbrush.
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
Your good seed for the day.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
All dressed up and nowhere to grow.