What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
While building a house, the architect took his fingers and dipped them in a jar of blue ink. He wanted to get the blueprints!
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
Your name must be Autumn because I am falling for you.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
An owl had a sore throat but wasn't bothered.
He couldn't give a hoot.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
What do ghoul scouts hope to achieve by selling halloween cookies? They hope to make a good first impression.
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
Physics student asks to go to bathroom.
Professor asks "Liquid, Solid or Gas?"
The beaver offered some freshly streamed buns to his guests.
Why do volcanoes need lotion?
So they dont get ashy.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
What did the magician say to the fisherman?
"Pick a cod, any cod."
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife? A heartless killer.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Let’s have a shamrockin’ good time tonight!
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...
It hertz.
After all is sled and done.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
I'm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
It's row v. wade.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
What is a naughty beavers' favorite type of wood ever? Knotty pine.
A dog in a pumpkin patch is called...
a pumpkin pooch.
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
On one bright Sunday morning, one long lost wolf finally met his longtime classmate. “So, Howl’s it goin’!”
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
I saw the Liberty Bell.
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
My daughter want's the new iPhone for her birthday. I told her she will get one as long as she has good grades, does her chores, and follows the house rules. Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone, because.
It's my way or the Huawei.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
I saw a movie about a pig with no eyes.
It was PG.