What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
I got a job crafting toy models of the dwarves from Snow White.
The pay sucks, but I'm not lying when I tell people I make seven figures.
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-Pie!
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
Did you hear the plum joke? A: It was pitiful.
What do you call a bee trying to make up its mind?
A maybee
Why did the forest ranger never put their tent between fires
because if they did the tents would be in a across fire
Have you seen that awesome video of a Koala drinking tea high up in the trees?
It’s super high Koala-tea
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.
I broke both my legs yesterday and now I have to use a wheelchair
I really can’t stand my situation right now.
What’s the least honest bone in the body?
The fibula.
Udon even know how to cook this udon recipe. Fortunately, I can teach you.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
The oranges have great eyesight because they always keep their eyes peeled.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
In grammar you shouldn’t do double negatives.
It’s a no no.
I will never have the audacity to choose a career path for my children.
It's their responsibility to choose which Medical School they'll graduate from.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
Don’t be a jerk-o-lantern this Halloween — share your candy!
Many mumbling mice are making merry music in the moonlight.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.