Synonym rolls: just like grammar used to make.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
If an astronaut steps on chewing gum then what will happen to him? He will simply be stuck on the Orbit.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What is the definition of art theft? A: The haul of frames.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Having a ball
"Have you seen our toilet roll?" asked my wife.
"Don't be silly," I replied.
"A toilet is a stationary object."
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
I started an insurance company for flower and gardening businesses...
It's called "oopsie daisies."
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing it just waved.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
Do you want to try my soup? I have enough for broth of us!
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
I’m a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. It’s Leprechronic.
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
What do you call a boat in training?
An apprenticeship.
After checking my poor results, the art teacher shouted, "Never in a vermilion years have I seen such poor grades"!
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
Why is Christmas the cheesiest holiday? Baby cheeses. (Baby Jesus)
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
These aren't your mom's puns, these are your sisters puns. Tam-puns
Let’s take a leaf of faith.
What is the fastest fish in the water? A motopike
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
Did you hear about the artist that has been drawing very small, colorful noodles?
He drew an itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka dot linguini.
Just been to the funeral of a close friend who died when he was hit in the head by a tennis ball
Great service.
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Finding Bigfoot will be no small feat.
Singular: One mango
Plural: Two menwent
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
What do you call bananas who are friends with monkeys? A bunch of idiots.