What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
Too bad my serve hit the tape. Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
Do you beer-lieve in magic?
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
What’s the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?
One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
"You can't beat me."
My favorite restaurant started serving a superhero-themed skillet breakfast.
Turns out it was just The Flash in a pan.
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
Visitors are Doolin over these gorgeous views.
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
How long did Cain hate his brother?
As long as he was Abel.
Why should you live a pineapple life? Because Life is sweet.
What do rabbits say before they eat? Lettuce pray.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
My husband slapped a fly off the door and said 'Not on my watch!'
I told him "That's a door"
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
"You're totally scrambling my brain."
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
My buddy asked me "if you could kill anyone in history, who would it be?"
I said I probably wouldn't kill anyone in history, but Pete in math is bloody annoying sometimes.
I once had a conversation with a dolphin.
We just clicked.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
I wondered why flamingos were so strong, so I did a little research. Turns out they do a lot of eggs-er-cise.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing it just waved.
I'm reading a book about metal fasteners.
Riveting stuff.
What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left to school ?
Bison.
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
What is the difference between a ball hog and time?
Time passes.