Irish you were beer.
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
I saw this beautiful tower in Italy..
It was a Pisa art!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Someone took my three-legged chair.
I guess it was stoolen
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
In Greek Mythology, Chiron was not only half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of medicine
That made him the centaur for disease control.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
Why do benched players always seem to look so wise? They don’t have to look like fools on the floor and entertain the crowds.
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."
Recently I visited Germany. I hated everything in there. The people, the history, the language. But, oh god, the smell.
It was the wurst.
If a black bug bleeds black blood, what color blood does a blue bug bleed?
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
You met all of my koala-fications
What do aliens prefer to drink?
Gravi-tea.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
Be careful what you say in a corn maze. The walls have ears.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows because no-one ever watches the conductor.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.
"Happy Easter to all my peeps."
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
When one tree asked another how it was doing in November, it replied, "I am pine!"
What do you call a fashionable, but judgmental monster who howls at the moon?
A What Not To Wear-Wolf.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What is the correct answer to Hummus?
A cow.
Why should you live a pineapple life? Because Life is sweet.