What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
Loving this road trip, but all this driving is tire-ing!
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
Where do you imprison a naughty skeleton?
A rib cage.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
How does spider man always come up with such clever comebacks?
Because with great power, comes great response ability.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
“Oh, deer! Christmas is here!”
What a is ghoul’s favorite pet?
Ghoulfish!
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
Never argue with Pi, it's irrational.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
The bowl of soup you bought yesterday from the Chinese restaurant was souper terrible.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
How does a bomb choose not to go off?
It refuses.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
A lady stormed off when I asked about her hand bag.
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
What do you call a dinosaur that drinks curry? A Mega-sore-arse.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
Cowboys don’t roll joints.
They tumble weed.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
Bake big batches of bitter brown bread
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
My husband Ronnald asked me what do monkeys wear when cooking.
I said, "an aperon".
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
In Spain, you should not develop a program beyond 2.0.
Because that would be over dos.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
My sister asked me to hand her lipstick but i handed her a glue stick instead
She still won’t talk to me
Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
What do Italians eat on Halloween?
Fettuccine Afraid-O