For his birthday, the snowman wants a cake with lots of icing on it.
When you find a blue strawberry, try to cheer it up.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
Did you hear about the squirrel diet? It’s nuts!
Sun to Earth, on the night of 31st December:
"Let's have another round, shall we?"
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
Are electrons pessimistic or optimistic?
Obviously pessimistic, they are always negative!
Why did the bees go on strike? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
The jam bank went bankrupt because of the series of strobberies in the last quarter.
What’s every ice cream parlor owner’s side hustle?
Sundae school teacher.
Pad kid poured curd pulled cod.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?
A hobblin' goblin.
I keep telling my wife I want a Segway for my birthday.
But every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
Who is Frosty’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt Artica!
When the time came, he betrayed our team and showed his blue colors.
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
I wasn't wearing hearing protection when the atom bomb went off.
Now I am become deaf, destroyer of worlds.
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
What happened when the guitars got in a fight?
They got in treble.
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
What washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves.
Long thyme no see.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of Thyme.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
This pool is impressive. Or should I say swim-pressive?
That crazy little sun of a beach.