Five fuzzy French frogs Frolicked through the fields in France.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
"I make pour decisions."
Why are spiders such great volleyball players? Because they have an amazing topspin.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
Serve up some Dad Jokes at your Father's Day BBQ
Make 'em eat Pop-Corn
The soup chef changed the design of his menu. He said his new favorite font is Times New Ramen.
Why did Oreo go to the dentist? …
Because he lost his filling!
What did the pilot of the Enola Gay say before dropping the bomb ?
"Let me Atom."
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
What do zombies use to color their hair?
Dye of the dead!
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Brace yourselves kids!
Our dentist is shutting down.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Why was the backstroke done by the squirrel?
“The squirrel preferred to maintain his nuts dry.”
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
What do you call a person really crazy about the moon
A lunatic.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
I bought an underwater craft in a bright green color.
It's sublime!
Your love is like vodka.
You were worth the chase.
Walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.
It's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order....
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
Why did the Meteorologist go to hospital?
He was feeling under the weather.
Dublin’ the fun.
What happened to the pirate who lost his peg leg?
He couldn't find it, so he was stumped.
What do you call a disabled paper towel?
A napkan't.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
"You had me at merlot."
Check your shelf before you wreck your shelf.
Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat.
It's a Thor subject for them.
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
Toilet jokes aren’t my favorite...
But they’re a solid number 2.
Let’s commit the perfect crime together.
I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.