Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
"Just looking on the sunny side."
What did the swimming pool say to the skimmer?
Leaf me alone!
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
Anette.
Wanna know a way for werewolves to howl other than the full moon?
Make them stub their toe.
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
They say that you can spike a volleyball. But you can never take away its dig-nity.
What do you call a stampeding herd of llamas?
The alpacalypse.
Grandma: Do you like Hummus? Me: I love Hummus....and I sometimes like to singus!
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
What did the cook say after making stir fry at a playground?
"It was a wok in the park."
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
I ordered won ton for my large family today.
2000 lbs of soup goes a long way.
What do you get when you spice up date night? Netflix and Chilis.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
I was cracking some lame fall puns when my friend commented, "Gosh, you are acorny person!"
Who’s your paddy?
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.
I farted in an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels.
Vegetarians in the sixth century were called peasants.
What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint.
What did ketchup say while spotting his friend at the gym?
Mustard all of your strength!
What type of elements know everybody on earth?
Met-all.
Luke Luck likes lakes.
Luke's duck likes lakes.
Luke Luck licks lakes.
Luck's duck licks lakes.
Duck takes licks in lakes Luke Luck likes.
Luke Luck takes licks in lakes duck likes.
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
Which Led Zeppelin song do realtors love most?
“A Whole Lot Of Love.”
What do oranges like to listen to?
Musical com-peel-ations.
What’s the worst thing about broken elevator puns? They’re not very uplifting.
Does anything come after April A?
May B!
So Chanel is making a new perfume made entirely of rain water.
It’s called the Weather Chanel.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
Why did Billy make a bunch of snowmen to be his friends?
Because he wanted to hang with the cool kids!
A woman gets into an accident while driving. She tries to explain to the officer that it wasn’t her fault. She says the other guy was drinking and on his phone! The officer looks at the lady and says, "Mam, he could do that in his own backyard.”
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.
It is only late August, yet the leaves are already turning brown. Autumn came early this year. Orange you glad?
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
What do you call an artist without a palette? Someone who makes paintings without taste.
Cherries go all out when they go to festivals. You’ll probably see loads of them, running around in pie-dyed shirts.
Thirty-three thousand people think that Thursday is their thirtieth birthday.