What did the ghost buy at the bar? Boos!
Usain bolt must be a fruit
Have you seen that mango?
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
My friend wasn't accepted for a teaching job because he was cross-eyed
They thought he wouldn't be able to control his pupils.
The only difference between time and a ball hog is that the former passes.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
Red ship hits Blue ship...
Sailors marooned.
The dentist said that he could knock me out with gas, or he could use a big metallic rock.
I said ether/ore.
All the girls I meet keep thinking I’m a sheep.
Every time they see me they say “Ewe”
What do athletes drink before games? Sport-Tea.
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....
My lawyer said I don't have much of a case.
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
A team may be talented, but there is no substitute to this, no train no gain!
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
I'm studying the meaning of couches in different parts of the world.
It's really PhillySOFAcal.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
What did the osteopathic medicine doctor bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
Do you need some encourage-mint?
Enough of the Corona virus jokes
We're all getting sick of them!
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow? Nothing, it was feeling blue.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
The density of this concrete leads me to believe one thing: it is a hard court.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!
The real estate in my neighborhood has become so expensive that only cats can afford it.
You need nine lives to pay it off.
What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An ant-ique.
I squeezed a lemon on my wife's lap two hours ago...
She's been a sourpuss about it ever since.
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
Are these pants too tight in the Balzac?
Made a shoe out of tea bags for my wife, she said she needed to wipe her nose.
You are pitcher perfect.
It’s impossible to Rouen a trip to France.
Your name must be Autumn because I am falling for you.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere!
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.