We pass expectations, set the standards and kill the competition. This is definitely one of the best volleyball puns to use as your team’s motto.
Q: What’s red and goes up and down, up and down?
A: A cherry in a lift.
Having pineapple on a pizza is quite like going down on a cousin: It might taste good, but something is not right.
I found out my wife is really a ghost.
I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
The ocean doesn't like to say hello, it just waves.
What do you call a chameleon that can't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay? Anywhere he wants to.
I really liked learning about displacement in Physics.
It's pretty straight to the point.
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
I beg your garden?
What would a crow wear to the Halloween party? A crown!
What do you call a small, two winged insect resembling a mosquito that likes to keep the peace?
A diplognat!
My realtor sold me a two-story house.
One story before the offer, another story after the offer.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
After a day of entertaining the troops, the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders meet with the base commander to discuss the rest of the evening.
“Would you girls like to mess with the enlisted men or the officers this evening?” the commander asks.
“I don’t think it matters to the ladies,” the head cheerleader says, “but I’m sure a lot of the girls would like to get something to eat first.”
Roberta ran rings around the Roman ruins.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
What do you call a party for snowmen? A snowball.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
Why are the railroad tracks angry? Because people are always crossing them.
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
Why are urinals the worst place to spend time?
Because it’s where all the di**s hang out.
What happened to the criminal magician who ate to much salt?
Cardiac arrest.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
His name is Juan O'Clock.
If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?
European.
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
My friend was telling me about how a shark attacked her while she was diving
I told her, that bites.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
Black background, brown background, black background, brown background, black background, brown background.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
Did you know they tested the Mars rover against animal attacks?
They had to switch to dogs because Curiosity killed the cat.
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.